Lightning Bug
by Wingu
Summary: I want to be able to descibe the feelings in my heart. It's just, my mouth won't form the words I want to say. 100 Theme Challenge.
1. Tears

Theme 026. Tears.

Main Characters: Yasuko Hotaru & Lenalee Li

Genre: Angst/Hurt

Author's Comments: I rather like this one. It doesn't make much sense, but Allen&co are playing 20 Questions where each person asks one question and then everybody has to give an answer. Hotaru must be really pissed at Lenalee for something, because she wouldn't normally say something like this.

--

"The Millennium Earl."

Allen replied to Lenalee's question. It was obvious. How could he not hate someone who threw away innocent lives like that? The rest of the exorcists nodded in agreement.

"Your turn Lavi!" She said to the red headed exorcist, in a sing song voice.

"Hmmm… I hate it most…when… women go around not wearing skirts!" He chuckled in reply. It was a known fact that Lavi was a womanizer, and his tone was light and joking.

"They should be like you Lenalee, and not like Hotaru who's always walking around in long pants. Neh Hotaru?" He asked punching the girl softly on her shoulder. In response, Lenalee blushed several shades of red.

"Then what about you Hotaru? What do you hate?"

The girl stared at Lenalee; she opened her mouth, hesitated for a second, and then snapped it shut. It shocked Lenalee, why wouldn't Hotaru say anything? It was true she was shy but, they were her friends. Right?

"Hotaru, tell us. We all want to know. It's not like we'll tell anyone if you tell us." Lenalee was joined by several others, all wanting to know what the girl was keeping quiet about. The only two that didn't say anything were Lavi and Kanda. Lavi, because he was fairly sure he knew what Hotaru hated. And Kanda? The Japanese exorcist didn't seem to care.

"Can I really tell you? Do you really want to know?" Hotaru asked, looking Lenalee straight in the eye.

In reply, the Chinese exorcist nodded her head, she wanted to know _badly_.

"You. The thing I hate the most is you, Lenalee." After saying these words, Hotaru stood up getting ready to leave. She looked back to see a rather confused and hurt Lenalee and it wasn't long before the other exorcists were in her face.

"What do you mean?! How can you say that to Lenalee!? Isn't she your comrade?" She met the sour looks straight on, and not for the first time her eyes became unreadable. She said simply, an edge in her voice that Allen couldn't tell if it was annoyance or hate, "You wouldn't understand."

And with that Hotaru left the room leaving behind a sobbing Lenalee, a rather pissed off Allen, and Kanda, on whom these words had absolutely no effect.

_You wouldn't understand if I had said, that I hated you_

_Because you can cry._

_Because I wish I could cry, and weep till my heart ran out of tears._

_I wish I could._

_When you cry, people come to comfort you. They come to protect you._

_They see you as someone who is strong and cares about her friends deeply._

_When I cry, I become a hindrance._

_And people see me as a weakling, as a __burden__._

_You wouldn't understand, because it is not your heart that is cracking,_

_From the rift of all those pent up_

_Tears._


	2. I Can't

Theme 073. I Can't

Main Characters: Yasuko Hotaru

Genre: Hurt/Romance

Author's Comments: I'm rather fond of refer to people as "she" or "he" and not mention their name's at all. Whats with all the angst? Where's the fluff? And why are all my stories so short? It's so hard to reach the 1000 word mark now…

--

There were many things she wanted to say. There are many things she wants to do.

When she is sad or hurt, she wants to be able to cry. To weep her heart out.

But she cannot, for that makes her weak.

--

When she is keeping a secret, she wants the whole world to know.

She wants them to comfort her. And laugh together, saying how funny it was.

--

She wants to be able to turn around and know someone will catch her, but she is too scared to look back.

Because she is afraid she will see no one standing there.

--

She wants to go to sleep at night and feel warm and safe. She wants to be surrounded by people who care.

But she doesn't dare fall asleep, for what if they should all leave?

--

When someone leaves, she wants to be able to let go, and simply say "Promise me you'll come back."

But she cannot let go, she clings tightly to what she has.

Because she doesn't know for sure they will come back.

--

She doesn't want to worry about falling, because someone will be there to help her back up.

But she fears falling, because she's not so sure she can get back up.

--

She wants to be strong. She wants to protect what is important to her.

But she cannot because she knows she is weak.

--

There are many things Yasuko Hotaru wants.

But above all, she wants to stop lying to herself.

Because she knows, deep down,

He doesn't love her.

And here is the reason that 365 Days is updating slowly. Because I love Hotaru's character. She's not all angst I promise! Just these two came out like that...

If only writing the actual story were as easy as writing the themes...


	3. Dreams

Theme 039. Dreams

Main Characters: Yasuko Hotaru, Lavi

Genre: Implied Romance/Somewhat Humor

Author's Comments: It's…somewhat fluffy? This is set in Edo before they enter the Ark and Hotaru is telling Lavi her dream just in case she doesn't come back. Also in Japanese culture when a sneeze comes from nowhere, it's said that someone is talking about you.

--

"_Neh, Hotaru, how do you say dream in Japanese?"_

"_Why would you want to know that Lavi?"_

"_Just wondering."_

"_Yume."_

"_That's pretty, isn't it Hotaru?"_

"_Lavi why did you want to know?"_

"_Because, I want to learn to say __dream__ in every language. I guess you could say it's a dream of mine."_

_Hotaru chuckled lightly at her friend's joke. She wasn't surprised when Lavi turned and looked down into her eyes. One got used to it when the young Bookman was your best friend. Lavi asked innocently _

"_So Hotaru, do you have any dreams?"_

_The small exorcist didn't say anything, and they pair shared a mutual silence for a moment._

"_So where's the mission?"_

"_Paris, France."_

_The red head grabbed his considerably shorter partner's hand and dragged her towards the door and their awaiting mission._

_He had, for the moment, forgotten about Yasuko Hotaru's dream._

There was no doubt that everyone was asleep. They were tired, having just come back from a close encounter with Noah, swarms of akuma and the Earl in Edo. Allen and her had just joined the group for the first time in Japan. After the battle there had been tears of joy random comments, and food. Everyone went to sleep opting not to think what the next day would bring.

And that left one Yasuko Hotaru wide awake, her mind overflowing with doubts about what the next few days would bring. She was no like Krory or Allen who had faith in their friends. She was not like Lenalee who had made a resolve to come back again. She was not like Lavi who had thought of all this before hand, and she most certainly was not like Kanda. For she didn't know for sure that she would be coming out of this alive.

The doubts flowed like a river, pouring and washing her away in the silence of the night. "What if's" and "Maybes" flew past her, and Hotaru didn't know what to do. And so, she rolled over and whispered ever so lightly into Lavi's not-so-far-away-ear, that single dream of hers. He had, after all, asked what it was once upon a time.

"_I had a dream. And in my dream, I tripped._

_And then I fell forward._

_I felt my head hit the ground, not so hard that it would ache, and then I felt a hand._

_It gripped my shoulder, and pulled me up._

_And someone whispered into my ear._

_He said simply_

"_Aishiteru Hotaru"_

_And this person, _

_His name is,_

_Kanda._

_Yuu Kanda."_

On the other side of their sleeping circle, one dark haired Yuu Kanda sneezed in his sleep.


	4. Broken Pieces

Theme 076. Broken Pieces

Main Characters: Yasuko Hotaru, Lavi

Genre: Angst/Hurt

Author's Comments: Ahaha, I just realized how slow I am. My apologies. Have some angst. Haven't written that in a while. And while you're at it, tell me what you think of this writing style. There are subtle hints to who "he" is.

--

It hurts him to know he can't do anything.

_All he can do is sit back and watch._

It hurts him to know that his words won't comfort her like they once did.

_It's not his words she needs._

It hurts him to know that she won't come running to him anymore.

_She doesn't need his arms right now._

It hurts him to know that she's drowning.

_And no one can save her anymore._

It hurts him to know that she needs someone so desperately to reach out and grab her hand.

_No one can reach her._

It hurts him to know that she's breaking apart.

_All those unspoken feelings resounding in her heart._

He wants to walk up to her and comfort her. Wrap her in a warm hug, let her know that he'll never leave her behind. But he can't, that would be lying. She doesn't need another lie.

He wants to pluck that stupid hourglass from her hands, to pull her away from that solitary stone, to hide that cursed katana. But he can't. It's all that's left. It's all that she has. It's the only thing left to remind them of broken promises.

He hates him. Hates him, loathes him, despises him. All that he's left behind, everything. He hates it all. He hates him for being so blind. For being so cold. For breaking all his promises. And most of all, for leaving them all behind.

He pulls the girl up to her feet. He doesn't need to ask anything, nor does he need to say anything. He doesn't wipe away the tear that falls silently across her face.

"_I miss him, Lavi."_

She whispers meekly.

He nods, he knows.

Because he misses him too.


	5. Introduction

Theme 001. Introduction

Main Characters: Yasuko Hotaru

Genre: Drabble

Author's Comments: I wanted to write this idea. But I didn't know which theme it fit…until now!

--

Is it his eyes?

Those cold piercing eyes of his?

Or maybe it's his hair.

That smooth, long dark hair.

Maybe it's his attitude.

He acts like he doesn't care about anyone.

Is it his coldness?

He never seems to warm up, not even to Lavi or Allen.

Or is it their childhood?

Those sunny days where they would play together.

The rainy days where he would teach her.

And the in-between days that they spent just lying around.

Yasuko Hotaru doesn't know why, but she knows this one thing.

She may not know why, but she knows that she loves Yuu Kanda.

And that she will never stop loving Yuu Kanda.

Even if said Yuu Kanda was to fall in love with someone else.


	6. Precious Treasure

Theme 036. Precious Treasure

Main Characters: Yuu Kanda, Yasuko Hotaru

Genre: Fluff

Author's Comments: I tried. I swear I tried. Keeping Kanda in character and writing fluff at the same time…it just doesn't work. But then again little kiddies make the world better. Right?

--

_Swiftly, quietly he traps the glowing bug inside a jar. He screws the lid closed and checks one last time to make sure he screwed it tightly enough. _

_He throws the jar to small girl behind him._

_She almost drops it. Almost._

_Puzzled the girl looked up at him and asked _

"_What's this?"_

"_I caught it for you."_

"_Really?"_

_He snorts._

"_Che. You idiot. Why else would I catch a firefly?"_

_The girl hugs the jar to her chest and smiles._

_Her name is firefly too._

There is an empty glass jar in Yasuko Hotaru's room.

Lavi often wonders what it is, but he never asks.

Because he knows that sometimes memories are the most precious treasure.

And precious treasures are things you share with only those who gave it to you.


	7. Hold My Hand

Theme 036. Precious Treasure

Main Characters: Yuu Kanda, Yasuko Hotaru

Genre: Fluff

Author's Comments: I tried. I swear I tried. Keeping Kanda in character and writing fluff at the same time…it just doesn't work. But then again little kiddies make the world better. Right?

--

_Swiftly, quietly he traps the glowing bug inside a jar. He screws the lid closed and checks one last time to make sure he screwed it tightly enough. _

_He throws the jar to small girl behind him._

_She almost drops it. Almost._

_Puzzled the girl looked up at him and asked _

"_What's this?"_

"_I caught it for you."_

"_Really?"_

_He snorts._

"_Che. You idiot. Why else would I catch a firefly?"_

_The girl hugs the jar to her chest and smiles._

_Her name is firefly too._

There is an empty glass jar in Yasuko Hotaru's room.

Lavi often wonders what it is, but he never asks.

Because he knows that sometimes memories are the most precious treasure.

And precious treasures are things you share with only those who gave it to you.


End file.
